Top 10 Places To Pee When You Are Three – Wry Mummy

When you’re three, the world is your toilet.

It all started when we were potty training. I was so pleased that my son gave me any notice at all before weeing, I was happy for him go pretty much wherever we were. Needs must and all that. But now, despite his much improved bladder control, he still feels he has a licence to wee at all times and in all places.

Got a licence to wee.

1. In the middle of the park. Not discreetly behind a tree. Right there by the swings.
2. On the pavement. Not in the gutter behind an open car door as I’ve possibly encouraged him to in the past.
3. On his clothes. Bless his little cottons, sometimes he still has a misfire even when he’s standing by the loo.
4. By the schoolgate – I caught him in time but he was all ready to go.
5. With his brothers. I have three boys, and now the youngest has joined the standing-up wee gang, they do like to all go together.
6. On his brothers…I still can’t tell whether it was deliberate.
7. On the closed lid of the loo. So close yet so far.
8. In the middle of the beach. “No! I meant in the sea,” I cry as he stands right up on the sand and does his wee. Or he’ll be in the sea but remain standing: “Crouch down darling!” I’ll half-cry, half-laugh.
9. In the bath. Standard. I defy anyone with boys to claim their child never gets in the bath and goes “aaaah” – despite there being a perfectly good loo right there next to it.
10. And his favourite, pants down, on mummy’s foot, hand, scarf – whatever is in the line of fire.

But you know what, although I, of course, try to limit his overly public pees for hygiene’s sake, he’s only three. When a boy’s gotta go a boy’s gotta go.

Nothing beats an alfresco wee.

What’s the funniest / most embarrassing place your toddler has weed?