I had to snort when I opened the book bag. We’d been asked to send back a holiday record of achievement – a new skill that in his brief sojourn from the school walls, my child had managed to pick up. Or, in other words, a badge of parenting honour. The quaint phrase ‘A Moment from Home’ was what tickled me the most. As I read it (on the day before they were due back to school), many moments flashed through my mind unbidden. But were any of them teacher-friendly? Only when you’ve bounced right out of your pants can you truly enjoy the spirit of the trampoline. “The neighbours don’t want to see your bottom!” “You said bottom!” Cue hysterical giggling. Lego Ninjago marathon-ing They managed to watch Lego Ninjago Series 1 and 2. Twice. In my defence, this was between many outdoor and generally improving activities. And I think the poor little dears need a bit of downtime just as much as their mummy, especially my middlie after his first half term at school. Never have I seen the boys run so fast as when they were competing to be the first to tell on the other. Since my middle child started reception in September, he is starting to give as good as he gets from his big brother. Which is an important move towards independence, but very wearing for the permanent referee. If there’s a non-washable pen in the house, a child will find it. Then create a beautiful pattern of Cheerios on top of the table’s new design, to divert mother’s attention from it. My four-year old may not have learnt to ride a horse, pedal a bike or ski in his half-term holiday. But he did loads of other awesome stuff. And I’m proud of him.

Big Lego robots vs mini Lego Ninjas – before the baby smashed it.