100 Happy Posts – Wry Mummy

Why, I don’t look a day over 99!

Woohoo, Wry Mummy is 100 today! I am ridiculously excited to announce that this is my 100^th post!  Thank you so much to my lovely readers for showing a sniff of interest when I press Publish! To celebrate my centenary, I have picked out some of my favourites from my Happy Hundred.  Don’t worry, you don’t have to read them – it just makes me smile to see some of my little babies there. Stuck for a gift? Simply Like me on Facebook! 

When my son opened his birthday present, his face looked like we’d just shot our dog. We don’t even have a dog. 

The Shouting Bra, and Other Mummy Essentials

You can’t command respect naked. Not even from your kids. Hence, I propose a Mumswear diffusion line, starting with The Shouting Bra and the Pants of Power. 

If You Prick Us Mums, Do We Not Bleed? 

If you prick us mums, do we not bleed? 

If you tickle us, do we not wee a little bit?
If you’re sick in our hair, do we not blench?

As I sat there on the sofa, lip wobbling, with a boy either side of me engrossed in (by now) Mike the Knight, and a baby happily emptying out a bag of nappy sacks by my feet, I had an epiphany. They weren’t dwelling in the past or dreading the future: they were enjoying the present. And I realised that when I am next wobbling on the Mummy Tightrope, I should just remember this: “Do look down”.

I hope I’ll smile at children in the supermarket aisle,
Not look at them as if I’d never seen something so vile.
I hope I will remember when my own children were young
That all I wanted was someone to say to me, “Well done.” 

As I root out the chunks, I think grim thoughts about my husband, by now probably gently snoozing with our child nestled adorably in his arms. My only consolation is that with each breath he is inhaling the sick bug while germs seep into his pores from our poor infant’s soft skin.

#100HappyPosts
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